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How to Change Life
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ARTICLES BELOW 5 Tips to Make the Right Decision in the Middle of Chaos 5 Steps to a Strong Personal Foundation to Support the Rest of Your Life Achieve Your Goal- Find the Missing Ingredient 10 Tips to Rev Up Your Energy & Feel Great A Valuable New Perspective- What is Your Role in the Big Picture
5 Tips to Make the Right Decision in the Middle of Chaos
"In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing to do. The worst thing you can do is nothing." Theodore Roosevelt
As I wandered a parking lot looking for my car I realized the quality of my decision making skills shrunk drastically in the midst of chaos. We make hundreds of decisions daily. They’re the heartbeats of our lives. They make or break us. Are we making good ones? The ones that make a huge positive impact in how we feel about who we are, how we spend time, the growth of our businesses, and the difference we make in the world. The schedule is packed, the pressure is on, and we maintain our responsibilities at whatever cost. Below are 5 tips to upgrade your decisions in the midst of chaos for life transforming results.
Stay present~ When busy the mind tends to move ahead of your body, as in the example above. This is where things get misplaced and forgotten, accidents and misunderstandings occur, confusion sets in, and time gets wasted. Bring your mind to the present moment. Stay focused on what you want to complete one step at a time.
Explore Your Choices~ Consider all of your choices. If you can’t see choices, ask others what they see for you. To discover the right answer ask your self introspective questions to put first things first. Listed are some of my favorites from Debbie Ford’s book The Right Questions:
· Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
· Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?
· Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
· Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
· Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
Listen to Your Intuition~ Is this decision ego or soul driven? Is it coming from the head or the heart? This is raising your level of consciousness and shifting from being in control to a place of trust. I had a teleclass leader at Coach U who said “if you can stop the chatter in your mind long enough to get the message you will find intuition is never wrong”.
Stop~ Be still, breathe, listen, be at peace, and rejuvenate. Principle 2 in the book The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, explains that “Because energy capacity diminishes both with overuse and with underuse, we must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal.” Make decisions from a place of renewal vs. being drained.
Acts Boldly on the Important Stuff First~ When you discover the right answers follow up with bold action trusting that you have everything within you to handle whatever the outcome. The right answers are not always the easiest. Martin Luther King’s right answer took guts. Oprah’s decision to take “the high road” took guts. Know you are capable of so much more.
Imagine the transformation in your life and business if you take a moment to consciously upgrade your decisions. Try it, and let me know how it works out...Starting Now!
Copyright 2005, Beth Tabak. All rights reserved. COMMENT
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5 Steps to a Strong Foundation to Support the Rest of Your Life
Nothing grand was ever built on quicksand. In fact, the taller the building the deeper the foundation. The foundation of the Empire State Building sets 55' below ground. So if you want to develop a great life of fulfillment, happiness, good relationships, and financial security it would make sense to begin by developing a strong personal foundation. If you have a business and think this is not for you, think again. Remember... you can grow your business as big as you can grow yourself. The following tips are based on the 24 lesson Personal Foundation Program I took while training at Coach U.
1- Zap the Tolerations- Make a list of everything you are putting up with at home, at work, in your family, and in your community. There is a solution for each one even if you don't see it right now. Begin handling each toleration. Get to the source and handle it there so you do not have to deal with it again in the near future. Notice how you begin to feel happier and more energetic.
2- Simplify your Life- Eliminate projects, responsibilities, habits, and tasks that absorb time and are not necessary in order to create more time and space in your life. These often are things you or others think you should do. The second part of simplifying is delegating and systematizing wherever you can. What systems can you set up to create space in your life for what you really want?
3- Restore your Integrity- To live being complete, undivided, and honest with yourself. Accepting all of who you are adds richness to your life. You experience fewer problems, feel at peace, and respond to others vs reacting. List 10 ways you feel out of integrity (wrong job, cheating, misrespresenting yourself, false promises, involved in something you dislike, living in debt, etc.) Then list the simple actions you can take now to restore your integrity. Follow it up with action.
4- Get Your Needs Met- Think about when you are hungry. It's hard to think of anything else until that need is met. Your personal needs are the same. If you have unmet needs they dominate your life. This is always a tough one to look at as it is unappealing to think of ourselves as needy. Yet we all have needs unique to us. When you identify your needs and get them met you can begin living your life based on your values rather than striving to fill needs. It's ok to get support. 5- Extend Your Boundaries- Boundaries are lines you draw to protect yourself. The more clear your boundaries, the more well protected you are from the damaging behavior of others. Drawing the line involves deciding what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior to you. Respecting your boundaries takes sensing when one is in danger of being crossed then taking action to protect yourself by making a statement, doing something, or walking away. Make a list of 10 things others can no longer do or say to you.
Creating a strong personal foundation includes other steps such as getting clear of the past, handling the money, taking care of your body, strengthening your family, deepening your community, improving your attitude, creating reserves, becoming a problem-free zone, investing in your life, and more! Take one step at a time to strengthen and deepen your foundation in order to support a grand life. Starting Now!
If you would like to learn more and get support, check out upcoming Personal Foundation Programs under Classes at www.startingnowcoaching.com or www.coachinc.com.
Copyright 2004 © Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved. COMMENT
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Achieve Your Goal- Find the Missing Ingredient
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Anne Dillard
What do you keep thinking about? What is your “hidden desire” that keeps showing up to remind you it’s tired of living in the shadows? At what point will you give your soul a chance to shine? Information on goal setting is abundant and yet many of us miss our goals or never set the important ones. Below are some critical ingredients that make a huge difference in achieving goals. Find your missing ingredient and turn your goal into more than just a haunting dream.
SMART goals have been around in various forms for decades. At some time or another most of us have heard that we need to set SMART goals. S- Specific, M- Measureable, A- Attainable, R- Realistic, and have a T- Time Frame. SMART goals have taught us how to set and achieve goals, yet there is still more to learn. The steps below include what it takes to set a SMART goal and includes steps we regularly overlook.
The Goal & Plan of Action:
Values-Based- Choose a goal you really want. Remember that one thing you keep thinking about? Is it something that gets you excited or what you “should” do? Why do you want this goal? If a goal gets you excited you are more likely to take consistent daily action. Example: Karla thinks she should exercise to make her mom happy. Jackie loved track in her school years but got away from it when she started working full-time. She wants running to still be a part of her life. Jackie has a value-based goal that will increase her level of commitment.
Specific- Include enough detail to know what you need to accomplish. Karla set a goal to “exercise”. Karla may find herself confused and frustrated because her goal is not specific. She is not quite sure of what to do. Jackie, on the other hand, set a goal to jog 2 miles on 16 days over a 4 week period. Jackie will waste no time come Monday morning figuring out what she needs to do next.
Measurable- The goal produces evidence so you know if you are on track to achieve your aim. Let’s stay with Jackie now. Jackie can determine at any time if she is on track to jog 16 days over the 4 week period .
Attainable- The small steps you need to take to reach your goal are determined so you know you can do it. Jackie is jogging at 7am on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday on a weekly basis. When something comes up she makes it up on Saturday at 9am. Jackie is purchasing comfortable running shoes to replace her shoes that were too tight. She’s choosing her favorite music to listen to on her runs, and she is preparing a montra to use when her inner critic speaks up. Since Jackie is jogging first thing in the morning and has a break in the middle of the week she feels confident that this goal is attainable. Jackie has a plan.
Realistic- You have the ability, skills, resources, and commitment to make it happen. Jackie has been walking regularly and jogging occasionally to prepare. She is ready and has not set her goal too high. She believes in she can do it. A child learns to ride a bike when they begin to believe that they can. That shift in attitude has a lot to do with preparation. Because Jackie is realistic she will have a positive attitude that will help her succeed.
Time Frame- You have time scheduled to work on your goal and have set a deadline to complete your goal. Jackie has scheduled her jogging time in her daytimer for the entire 4 weeks and knows the date she will reach her goal.
Write It Down- The Goal and Plan of Action are drawn out in writing. Writing your goal and plan of action on paper makes them more tangible, plays in your subconscious mind, and moves you a step closer to achieving them. The more you write your goal the more focused and confident you become.
Support Systems:
System to Maintain Focus- Have a system to keep your goal and plan in front of you for the duration of the time frame so you stay focused daily. You can create a tracking sheet to fill in your progress daily. You can schedule time daily to visualize your success.
Accountability/ Support- This is likely the biggest item missing from most goals. Pick a success partner that will hold you accountable. Choose a peer, create or join a like-minded support group, or hire a coach. See the resources below. Having someone who completely supports you and holds you accountable for your action steps is one of the best ways to maintain your motivation, focus, and commitment to your goal.
Persist- Know that life will interrupt and get in the way of your plan. Those who succeed are the ones who get back on track after they fall off. Don’t give up...persist! If you don’t reach your goal you will have gained strength, knowledge, and wisdom, and you will have grown as a person for having the courage to go for it. Persist!
Rewards- Reward yourself for the progress you make. Wherever you end up you will be further along than when you began. Set little rewards along the way to give yourself a pat on the back. Set a big reward for the end that will pull you towards your goal.
Warning: Tunnel Vision- Don’t allow goals to take over your life so that you miss opportunities or miss out on the present moment. Each day...in all of the chaos... is filled with an abundance of precious moments. Enjoy them!
Goals...the road map to the life you envision. It’s a process. Take one step at a time. Embrace the journey while giving your soul the chance to shine. Starting Now!
Today’s Dare to Take Action Challenge: Choose a goal you know you can reach that stretches you a little. Make your plan. Take action! Build on the momentum of successfully reaching that goal.
“Playing in the Big Game” Take Action Challenge: In addition, choose a goal that is way out of reach...a gigantic one that you may never reach but would be a whole lot of fun trying. Take your smaller goal and supersize it going over the top...add a factor that makes a positive impact on the world. Play in that big game and see where it takes you. Example: A teacher has a goal of making sure every child in his class can read by the end of the school year. Super Sized- The teacher has a goal of making sure every child in the world can read by the time they are 7. Hmmm... I wonder where that would take this teacher? The possibilities seem endless and the journey incredible.
Copyright 2003, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved. COMMENT
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"People travel to wonder
at the height of the mountains,
at the huge waves of the seas,
at the long course of the rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars,
and yet they pass by themselves
without wondering." ~~St Augustine
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Reveal your uniqueness.
Be part of the
whole beautiful picture!
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10 Tips to Rev Up Your Energy & Feel Great
Are you feeling overcommitted and drained? Here are the steps that help me get back on track every time.
Step 1- Monitor the Symptoms and Determine the Solution- Notice when you feel drained. Listen to what your body is telling you and make the necessary adjustments. What is the cause? What is the solution?
Step 2- Honor Your Body with Healthy Intake and Plenty of Sleep- Eating healthy seems to be a challenge for most of us. How about shifting your thinking to what you can do. What healthy food or drinks can you add to your day that would give you more energy? In addition, you will be more productive when you get the best rest for your mind and body.
Step 3- Exercise- Again shift your attitude to what you can do. What activity would you enjoy? Commit a small block of time in order to develop a daily habit. Start with15 minutes per day if that's what it takes to help you develop a consistent long term healthy lifestyle.
Step 4- Drink Lots of Water- There are so many health benefits to drinking water in addition to gaining energy. Some say drink 8 glasses of water a day while others say half your body weight in ounces of water. In any event, keeping your body hydrated is a simple step towards keeping you feeling great.
Step 5- Eliminate Clutter- Recently I helped a friend declutter. It was amazing to see the immediate increase in her energy level. Discover how you look at a project. Do you look at a task and think how hard it will be or do you picture the end result? Imagine the end result. Now what can you do to make it easier and fun? You can declutter for 15 minutes a day, set the timer and have a race, turn on some upbeat music, get a bag and throw out 25 items. Be creative. What small area can you declutter that would make the biggest difference in how you feel?
Step 6- Handle Aggravations- Procrastination drains energy. Make the repair, file your taxes, have that talk with your mate or in-law or boss or whoever, take drastic measures to have finances not be an issue. Often the thing we procrastinate on turns out much better than we anticipated. Eliminate one at a time.
Step 7- Under Commit- Know your top priorities. If an offer arises give yourself 24+ hours. Does it fit into your priorities right now? Is there time in your schedule to add the commitment? Remember, when you add a commitment you take away from another area of your life. How will that effect you and your family? Weigh your options. Under commit and have reserves of space and energy to enjoy life.
Step 8- Add Fun to Your Life Regularly- What can you schedule for yourself that would put the biggest smile on your face? What do you love to do? What time can you commit to one of your dreams? Add that to your life and zestfully zip your way through the day.
Step 9- Take Time for Spiritual Development- Spiritual development on a daily basis helps you become centered and clear throughout each day, and lifts the weight of burden off your shoulders. Without taking time to grow spiritually you can get lost in the day-to-day tasks of linear thinking which is exhausting. Spiritual growth brings the ultimate fulfillment. Begin with a small block of time and build on that.
Step 10- Accept Your Life as it is with Gratitude- Take responsibility for your life. It can be invigorating. Suddenly you have choices. Taking responsibility for your past and current situation gives you the power to shape your future.
Jump into building your energy and feeling great... Starting Now!
Copyright 2003, Beth A. Tabak, All rights reserved.
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Valuable New Perspective
What is Your Role in the Big Picture?
Have you ever stood with your nose against a wall? This is a great learning experience. I was instructed to do so by one of the best coaches at Coach U, Michael Stratford. If you choose to do this exercise stand facing a wall (toe tips against the wall) and see what you notice directly in front of you. Take a step back without moving your head. Now what do you notice? Finally, take 3 large steps back. What do you see? A bigger picture...of the wall, that is...and how each part relates to the other. In your life and business is your nose against the wall so you can’t see the big picture? Or are you observing from a distance and missing the details? We’ve all worked for one of those bosses before. Or are you one of the fortunate ones who stays well balanced? Looking at how you and your business fit into “the big picture” may leave you thinking in a new and exciting direction. Let’s see.
If you were to step out of your life and business and look at it from a distance. What would you see? Whether or not you believe in God let’s say, for the sake of imagination, you had God’s seat. What strengths and experience would you see in you that you haven’t fully embraced? What opportunities are looming all around you? What people do you have available to you? Where are those potential customers? What are your customers wishing you could provide? What needs exist, and how can you help to fill those needs? When all is said and done, what role do you want to have played in your family, your business, your community, and the world?
In your family, what opportunities do you have to plant seeds, build deeper relationships, and have more fun? In your business ask your customers how you can best serve them and find out their needs. How can your business better serve the community and the world? And...yes...getting into a bigger picture... when you look at the challenges facing our great big world community... what CAN you do? As a pebble that is dropped on one side of a pond creates waves that affect everything they come in contact with for quite a distance...so can you. What small daily action can you take at home, in business, in your community, that will create a wave and have a positive impact on our neighbors next door and around the world? Even though your big picture belongs solely to you as your perception. It is the action you take from this vision that can make a huge difference. I double dare you to step back....see a bigger picture.... and take action in the next 24 hours. You may be surprised at how the ripple affect comes back around and has a positive impact on YOU!
Copyright 2004, Beth A. Tabak. All Rights Reserved.
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Copyright©2004 Beth Tabak
All Rights Reserved
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